While we are all awaiting the "Great Reveal"

Here is a re-post from my Facebook page for those sitting on their asses awaiting the "Great Reveal" this coming May 5th. 

Want to loose weight?

I've been asked by some of my friends how I keep from gaining weight. I shall now reveal a secret that has been passed down from generations of my family.

Side effects from this amazing weight reduction implement:

1. Pectoral muscle soreness.
2. Increased perspiration (not to be confused with diaphoresis).
3. Lower back pain which can be alleviated with ibuprofen.
3. Some blistering on the hands. I recommend using work gloves.
4. Rare occurrences of delusional thoughts with possible auditory and/or visual hallucinations.
5. Induced tendency to inadvertently sing old spirituals.

This has been a free public health service message...